He had an early memory of wanting to grow up in order to escape the rules. The belief was that he was confined by age and when older would be released. Only then would he be able to do as he pleased. Shamefully, he still thinks this way, even though adulthood arrived many years ago. He wants to be older, wiser, free.
He found childhood challenging. He thought that when it was behind him he would no longer have to endure the pain of living within a restrictive framework. The framework amounted to people living life while he suffered it. His “suffering” did not come close to actual suffering. Not even when… never mind. Selfishly he looked forward to one day having his own house with his own bathroom that would always be vacant for him.
His world morphed but did not change. He still chases freedom. His wage may not be big enough, his house might be too cold, some days he finds the long hours more than he can manage. He is still that selfish child that wants less pain, fewer rules and liberation. He fears he needs to grow up.