There was on old theatre dame Whose memory was on the wane When panto began He declared I’m a man But I cannot remember my name!
As Mary sat upon a chair She thought it quite contraire That while she stood And felt quite good The chair was always there
There once was a girl from the West Who could play tunes with her chest She could hit the right pitch By rubbing her tits And strumming her fine stringy vest
Delilah was quiet and airy Preferring to act like a fairy When she guessed she could fly She murmured a cry While plunging to land in an eyrie
A noisy young man from Nice Decided to travel to Greece As he shouted I’ve started And loudly departed His neighbours looked forward to peace
My niece came round last week We played at hide and seek She took the lip gloss And the glue When found she could not speak
There once was a dog in the park He said can you see me, it’s dark When told to sit still He froze on the hill While fluidly leaving his mark