Limerick – Dame

There was on old theatre dame Whose memory was on the wane When panto began He declared I’m a man But I cannot remember my name!

Nothing to wear

Frock horror Slacks alarm Robe shock Pants almighty Shirt dread Tunic fright Sock panic Bare instead

Limerick – Girl

There once was a girl from the West Who could play tunes with her chest She could hit the right pitch By rubbing her tits And strumming her fine stringy vest


I have a mouse Inside my house Big and grey I am the prey Long and large It is in charge Out to play I am the prey But I’m told The mouse is old Try and stay You are not prey I stay up late I lie in wait Night and day I am…

Limerick – Fairy

Delilah was quiet and airy Preferring to act like a fairy When she guessed she could fly She murmured a cry While plunging to land in an eyrie

Limerick – Nice man

A noisy young man from Nice Decided to travel to Greece As he shouted I’ve started And loudly departed His neighbours looked forward to peace


My sister likes moustaches She says they are risqué They make her very happy She wears one everyday


If I could choose a menu I’d choose not one but four From the one I’d pick And from the four some more If I could eat for seven I’d have a meal or ten There’d be no room for afters I’d have to start again If I could fill my cupboard How the shelves…


I’m getting in my wardrobe Because I want to hide I know it will be cosy When I am inside I need to feel the cloth About my naked self I know this really is Amazing for my health I do it everyday It’s such a massive help Sitting in the wardrobe Perching on a…

Bad Bake

Doilys, glaze and icing Frosting, lace and gloss Sorbet, frills and glitter Cherries, piping, snot